Feel the notes bending.. vibrating with the wind… strings and woodwinds… controlling emotions.. each note I tap must serve a purpose.. a purpose that I might not yet understand.. slow down and remember to breathe because I have to remember the basics.. we are faced with an epic when we first open our eyes.. we are faced with a blinding light… or maybe a blinding light that we temporarily say goodbye to. These are the notes that I choose to play in my head.. these are the words that I choose to utter under my breath..

we are connected through everything…

and everything is aching for us to recognize that the energy is flowing through this moment.

We are all in this together.. like leaves falling in slow motion… or time just slows down in a pond of infinite ripples… we tumble through this universe along with the earth as our leader… the earth as our guide… a blind leader.. wise at the center.. wise in the heart.. we are awake now when we see that there is only life in the tumble.. there is life in the struggle.. there is life in the tumble… we are rolling around the ground… tossing our hands out for answers..

we are lost in the sky when we need the dust to settle.

Recognize yourself. Recognize that you are me. Your time is now and there is no end to the joy and the potential that we bring. We have to keep trying. I have to keep trying… to paint something that I have yet to understand.. I wish to learn more about myself and that is what drives me back to this meadow.. sitting .. alone… meditating… listening to the creek below… the wind washes through the tall blades of grass.. a butterfly… a caterpillar… a friendly dog barks off in the distance… a family laughs at the birds eating the food they left out.

We are living this life on repeat… but always hearing it for the very first time…

this is not going to be the last.. this will never be the first.. I am consumed with gratitude right now because I am feeling like I have a story to tell… a story to tell myself… and I am all ears… I can’t help but interrupt… I have to learn to listen… there is something more to learn here..

I can’t help but talk over myself at times… I can’t help but think that I have something more to add that I have to learn.. but this give and take has so much to do with my process. My understanding of the world is hinging upon this discipline.

Sometimes the slower speeds are fruitful…

and that is something that I am just now starting to understand for the first time. I don’t need to make up lies to myself to paint a picture the way I think it should look… I wish to paint the picture the way I feel it should look… the universe will tell me when it is time to put down the brush.