Words just keep rolling out… type type type…
this is where the keyboard needs to be an extension of my thoughts… fingers tapping away at the keys without a thought in mind… I am not sure about this.. there are fears associated with letting go.. this hesitancy is killing me.. these thoughts are blocked by the fear that I manifest. There are nothing but illusions that surround me and my visions… I practice the approach each day… each day… one step further in the maze… one step higher up the mountain.. I am here to make progress and I have found the field that I am going to reset with.
There are places that I trust with my complete self. There are places that I am afraid to call home. There are thoughts in my head that hold weight and they are not me. I have to better my surroundings… I have to continue down this path… the path to controlling my environment… I have to expect that it won’t be easy to control the influences but there is no other way. The only path I see is the one that resonates.. there is a bump in the road and a quick turn to the left.
I have to get back on the path to continue down my journey.
There are times to break.. there are times to explore on your own… thoughts and dreams and nightmares rolled into one… we can control our fears.. or at least keep them quiet enough to tackle our obstacles. I am hoping that this will not be the end.. I am hoping that I will be able to find the aspiration and the ambition to press forward through the obstacles.. not saved by a quote… not pressured by someone else’s vision.. these are all my own.. my own thoughts. I control them.. they are a part of me. I feel less regret when I recognize the path that I have chosen… fewer opportunities to look back and feel upset with myself… I have to keep pushing forward… just remember to breathe… learn to close your eyes in the light.. and to open them in the darkness… we can see with our minds.. we can smell with our intuition.. our guts pulling us in the direction that we are destined to head…
I have to keep loving myself and loving the people around me. It doesn’t matter what you have done. I owe it to myself to love you.
To harbor any ill will.. any resentment… is self-masochism… it is a choice… whether or not I wish to let go of past harms against me… and I declare that they have served their purpose.. and are no longer welcome.. I declare that future harms against me… have served their purpose as well.. and I let them go in advance of their passing.. there is no point in carrying any weight.. or struggling to carry any weight in the future.. we create our own baggage… and we, alone, decide when it is time to let that baggage drop at our feet. It is foreign.. scary.. and something that I still struggle with… but I know that I am beginning a path down something greater… feeling more nimble in spirit and mind… stay light… stay loving.