This is my 500 for 12/30/2017

Another tap.. tap.. tap.. a session continued… a thought revoked. I am dreaming I am sleeping.

 

I think that most of the ideas have come from a place where I am caught somewhere in the middle.. inspired by the frenetic pacing of the downtown hustle and the city buzz..

 

Little pieces of gratitude… little tiny fragments of my memories.. all these experiences from the past play a part… all of these forgotten memories lying dormant in hiding places… I have to shine a light on the unknown to get at the root of each story… sometimes unsure about the rock I am flipping over… slowly and deliberately flipping rocks at first… but accelerating into a rock-kicking frenzy… we don’t have time to decipher which memories should remain dormant.. or maybe we do and it is just my fear that I am living in a time-limited world and I will miss on an experience if I travel too slow… this can’t be right..

 

I have to move with more intention.

 

I have to be at peace while searching for greater understanding but what it is is my sense of unease that pushes me to search for peace in the first place. There is a symbiotic relationship between the physical and spiritual planes in this world… possibly an infinite number of other dimensions interwoven as well… I can’t see much further than this physical realm. And I don’t think that abnormal. But I want to be more at peace with myself to have the opportunity to see just a little further.

What is it about this search that is unique? Anything? Idealistically seeking answers in a cold, dark world that is littered with riches and flairs of love and laughter.

 

There is so much more than I can’t yet see…

 

I have to be open to the possibilities if I am to ever wish to be able to recognize true potential.. the true potential in human existence…

 

I am caught in a web.. connecting strings of theories together on a 2D plane…

 

wishing that it will all come together somehow, someway… believing that there is a purpose in art.. a purpose in the art of expression… in that all art is a form of expression… and manifesting love is the purest form.

Change tracks… switching tunes… wondering about this moment.. this magical moment… one second it is everything and then it is the past… extending moments out like a piece of taffy.. recognizing that it is a catch-22 to focus on any one piece… it only makes it harder to slow… harder to stretch…

 

I have to focus on something else and allow my periphery to wander.

 

What needs to happen for this exercise to thrive..? What questions do I need to ask myself…? What can I do to improve my productivity..? Where am I going and how am I going to get there?

Few things in life press me for answers the way that my core does. Coaxed by an insatiable itch. Playing with answers before I’m not even sure what to ask. Reverse engineering the best visions I can create with my current mind. Loving and respecting this moment… because it has me in a place that feels just right.

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