Rolling through the notes… feeling the vibrations of the keys.. press back against the fingertips.. this is my melody.. this is my keyboard… my piano.

There is a method.. a rhythm that I have to tap into.. something that flows.. something that creates a story.. paints a picture.. reflects the reality that I am perceiving in some way that is unique to me.

It feels that so often I fail to paint a clear picture of the story that I am trying to tell. I get lost in my own thoughts and struggle with the timing.. struggle to bring the listener and the viewer along for the ride… so often I tire out… so often I start with a pace that is just too fast… and I burn myself out.. trying to catch my breath in the middle of a phrase or sentence.. I get sidetracked.. I get lost in my own thoughts before the images have been portrayed in a way that I want them to.

Look up.

Remember that we are in this together. Remember to breathe.. just because I am typing frantically right now doesn’t mean that I am not allowed to compute my inner thoughts.. to comprehend the way that they may or may not be interpreted by the world around me.. I create my own reality.. and I have the desire to create a reality where the viewer.. the listener.. they both begin to understand some of the ideas, theories and concepts put forth through my expression.

I am not sure where this will go. I am not sure if I will have tomorrow to create… because tomorrow is never promised.. that is the driving point behind reminding ourselves to cherish these moments.. the smallest details in the darkest recesses of our minds.. they are crying out for attention.

Be present.

Tomorrow is never promised.. this breath is all we have. Learning to cherish my memories so that, one day, I can learn to let them go. Picking fights with myself again. Tormenting myself with fears of inaccuracies.. forgetting to just love and be loved.. forgetting to create and to absorb.. forgetting to listen. So much of what I have done is because I think I know what is right. At times, this is true. But I have to remember that this is a process that we are in together… and often times the straight, honest answer is what I am fearing to open myself to.. the criticism hurts.. the feedback makes me feel uncomfortable.. but that has to be embraced.. and then rewarded for giving it a look.

Give yourself an honest look in the mirror.

Listen to your heartbeat while laying motionless. Be at peace with the desires that you have. Recognize that your feelings create the universe around you. I am not sure where I am going.. but that is ok.. I just have to have the faith that my mind will deliver the next steps… the universe will open the next window for me to squeeze myself through… and the next adventure is bound to unfold… greater.. and more impressive than I could have ever imaged.