I want to press start… press forward.. hitting the up button… jumping through the hoops.. dancing along the way. We are a character. We create our environment. Our physiology manifests our reality. Our books are written from the pen of our minds. An old river that meanders through the ancient city… we are yearning for the ocean. We make our questions tied to our expectations when our expectations are the answers to something deeper in our understanding of the self.. because we wish to see something that isn’t entirely natural or not entirely the main focus of our energies…
I just type.. I just keep tumbling in the wind.. bouncing off walls and getting caught in the fences.. I am lost when I am rolling around in the wind but I feel most alive when I am lost.
We are learning how to yearn for something greater.. we must learn to yearn for the image of our ultimate self. What is it that we are looking for… what am I doing here.. what can I provide you? What can I provide you that will help you in your own life… learning how to write beyond the self.. maybe that is the wrong direction.. writing for the self with the idea that this work will remain silent… silent because it is a pet-project.
I wonder if there are others out there.. people happy with the discomfort in not knowing the answers… not knowing if there are others out there.. not knowing if we, in fact, are all alone..
we stack the odds against ourselves with each crazy, nonsensical passionately driven statement hurtled toward the stars.
We are looking for something greater than the self and forget that we are the greatest in potential when we know the self better.
So, how do we get to know ourselves better?
How do we encourage the difficult conversation… when we don’t know if it is something that will pay off in the end. What if the difficult questions aren’t even the right questions to be asking in the first place. I am begging for answers when I know that I might not even be asking the right questions…
I have to learn to improve my state of mind.. to come from a place in my vision… to come from a sense of absolute completion before being able to pose the correct questions that I meant to pursue.
And as it goes .. we are back in this stew together… slowly cooking ourselves to create a broth of the ultimate life experience… all we have is each other.. all we have is love… and we are nothing less than energy… nothing is, was and ever will be less than energy.. it is scientifically impossible… so, where did it all come from? Maybe we have to ask ourselves… where do we wish to go… where is it that we will feel most challenged… and my heart flies to the cosmos without a breath… it flies to the cosmos before I even have a chance to say goodbye… because all I want to do is move forward and embrace the unknown.. or at least learn to love myself… in such a way that it inspires others to learn to ask the questions that I have thus been unable to find so far.